Media Myths

#1 "We are dependent on foreign oil."

The seal of approval

Jimmy Carter said it,  Bush said it, Nixon said it, Obama said it, hell, they've all said it.  And, by George, whatever emerges from between the honest, God-fearing lips of our Presidents must be true. I mean, if you can't believe the President of the United States, who can you believe? 

Well, they're all liars, every single one of them, and while you're at it, add the New York Times, the Washington Post and EVERY SINGLE OTHER NEWSPAPER in the U.S.  The only reliable news source that has told the truth about this supposed Mid-East oil dependency is Jon Stewart, who, like it or not, tells all the news that is unfit to print.

Here's the skinny: most of our imported oil, roughly a third, comes from that rabid, Islamicist nation known as "Canada."  The reason for this preference is obvious - just look at a map.  Go ahead, right now, look at a map.  Which country is closer, Canada or Saudi Arabia? Latin America, the other major source of imported oil (a little over a third), is also a lot closer than Saudi Arabia. (Look "down" on your map, just past the 20-foot high, thousand-mile long fence and all the Rangers with shotguns ablazing, and you will find Latin America.) Saudi Arabia supplies roughly a tenth of our imported oil, and always has (see below).  Iraq is up to 5%, which is an all-time high. (This spike in imports is result of our invasion . . . you remember, the one that was supposed to pay for itself in oil  revenues, and ended up driving us into a major recession, now known for all posterity as The Recession.)

And if you don't believe me (and why should you? I haven't been elected President . . . yet), you can just look it up on the Department of Energy's website.  Get out your calculator and go there right now.

ftp://ftp.eia.doe.gov/pub/oil_gas/petroleum/data_publications/company_level_imports/current/import.html

Relationships are so complicated, aren't they?

So,  why does everybody repeat this myth ALL THE TIME? Well, for one thing, the myth justifies our "involvement" in the Middle East.  (Relationships are so complicated, aren't they? I swear, sometimes you have to drop a bomb or two just to make them notice you. And do they EVER compliment you on your new burqa?) The myth keeps the hatred flowing, because nobody likes a dependent relationship, and that, in turn, keeps us "involved." And last, but not least, the myth SHUTS US UP, because nothing is more dangerous in a democracy than an educated public.

You may well ask how this all came about.  (Actually, what you are asking is, "Why am I still reading this conspiracy-theory nonsense?") After all, if everyone, and by that I mean, every man, woman and child in the United States EXCEPT for Jon Stewart (and me), says something, it's got to have some little bit of truth behind it.  

Well, actually, no.  The truth is that the whole concept of "foreign oil" is completely bogus.  A handful of oil companies once known as the Seven Sisters, but which internecine cannibalism has now reduced to five (or four? Who says anti-trust laws are dead?) control all of the oil we consume, as well as oil prices, production levels, etc. -  NOT OPEC!! And it's been this way since 1928, when the Red Line Agreement divvied up all the oil in the Persian Gulf between the U.S. (we got Saudi Arabia, and subsequently owned ALL of their oil outright up until 1973), France, England, Holland and a guy named Calouste Gulbenkian (who after receiving his 5% of the revenues became the richest man on earth.) It's been bad news for the Mid-East since then.  The oil cartel that controls Mid-Eastern oil, controls the oil supply to Europe and Asia, making it a nice place to invade.

So, to sum up.  This nation is not dependent on Mid-Eastern oil, we are dependent on oil companies which have made the concepts of "nations," "imports," and "independence" obsolete.